The Pit
It seems that a man fell into a deep pit, and couldn’t get himself out. He was in a world of hurt, and pretty unhappy.
Pretty soon, a Subjectivist type of person came along and said, ‘I feel for you down there,’ but did nothing.
An Objectivist wandered by next, and said, ‘It’s logical that someone would fall down there.’ But he just stood around looking too.
A Pharisee said, ‘Only bad people fall into a pit,’ and put his nose in the air and kept walking.
Then, a mathematician calculated how he fell into the pit. But all he did was calculate.
A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on his pit, ‘Man in a pit! Why is the government responsible?’ but was too busy interviewing everyone in sight to help.
A fanatic fundamentalist shouted, ‘You deserve your pit!’
Then a government tax-man asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.
A self-pitying person then whined, ‘You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen MY pit!’
Then a Christian Scientist came by, and said, ‘Just believe that you’re not in a pit.’ But that didn’t seem to help.
An optimist said, ‘Things could be worse!’ But the pessimist disagreed, and said, ‘Things -will- get worse!’
A Wiccan said, ‘MURPHY! You &*$%^#@,’ while a New Ager jumped into the pit to share the experience.
A Baha’i looked over the edge of the pit and said, ‘See the pit 2441 as a Spiritual Experience!’
A Hindu said that the man’s karma had put him into the pit, while a Moslem murmured that it was God’s Will that he was in the pit.
A conspiracist rubbed his hands together in glee, and said, ‘-They- threw you into the pit! I -knew- it!’
A Jew said, ‘Why are we -always- in a pit?’
A Communist shouted ‘Why are you in the People’s Pit without permission?’
An Alcoholic muttered to himself, ‘It’s not -my- fault you’re in the pit…..’
A Liberal said, ‘Those Conservatives must have dug this pit!’
A Conservative said, ‘See where Liberalism has gotten you?’
A TV Evangelist came by and promptly took up a collection from the bystanders.
Then, several well-meaning people came by, and wanted to help, but they were too busy arguing whether to throw him a ladder, or a shovel, or to hire a helicopter with a rope ladder, or to call the fire department or police to manage to get anything done.
But then, a Good Samaritan came along, looked at the man in the pit and at all the others standing around pursuing their own agendas, and said, ‘Let’s get you out of the pit.’
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bos/bos554.htm
Lovy
